I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your topless pictures make me question reality
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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