What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's like heaven, but drunker
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
