Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
