does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
