I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I want a musical about memes.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
