Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
