so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
