white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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