you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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