My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm like, not good at living.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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