How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
