I'm passing your future prison.
we're making bets on your personal life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
