I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
