...so i touched it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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