Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
