i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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