Redeem this text for a blowjob
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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