that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
