Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
