dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
