David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
