life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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