He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
