He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
