So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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