ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
