Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
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