I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
