I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
