I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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