he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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