Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
