Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She even gives head with a lisp.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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