hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
