used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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