Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
