therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
