I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
