idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
