WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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