lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
