I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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