highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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