2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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