How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
