Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
