hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
