return my video game
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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