Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
