I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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