I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
