Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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